Dammit Dammit

Dammit! I did it again! Mom is unhappy and wanted Dad to go for a walk. He didn't want to. Mom came to me, the third time in 15 minutes,wanting to know why we won't let her drive. She wanted to talk about driving and going to the mall by herself. I told her I was busy but would talk to her later. In my head I was thinking that when I got done with what I was doing, she and I could take a walk outside.


I was trying to finish, when Mom came in again and said she was going
for a walk by herself. She was acting very defiant, like she was afraid I was going to try to stop her. I told Mom if she waited a bit, I would go with her. I finished what I was doing and then we went for a short walk outside.


It was fine. When we got home she asked me how to open and close the garage door. I showed her how to close it and then started to tell her the code to open it and she started pushing buttons before I finished. I probably quite sternly said, "Mom. Wait until I'm done telling you." She did and then we started to go in and she said to me, "You know, as a nurse I have to anticipate what people are going to say next." I said "Mom when someone is talking to you, you should wait until they are finished talking." (She interrupts people all the time, then doesn't understand what they said and then gets mad or upset.)

She said, "I am a nurse and this is how I have to do things. This is how nurses do things." I said, "Yes Mom I know you are a nurse. But that doesn't give you an excuse to be rude." Her reply:"My being rude has saved lives. This is who I am."


I don't know what else was said, but I know I said too much. She's angry, I'm frustrated.


Why??? Why can't I just leave it alone?

I know she can't understand! Will I ever get good at this? I want to go and apologize. And I will. But she can't understand why I said the things I did, so why should she accept my apology?

Dammit. I thought I was doing good not talking about the driving...