Another very long day…

The day started out beautifully. Warm 54 degree February weather. The sun shining and the ice melting. I was putting my laundry together to wash and looking forward to a calm and productive day. I could hear my mom walking into our living room and then I heard her voice and knew something was wrong.

She had lost control of her bowels while in her living room and she had tried to clean it up with the clothes she was wearing at the time.(Her night clothes)

This is the second time this has happened. The last time she had taken extra stool softeners because she was constipated. This time she says she hadn’t taken anything. It just happened.

She was calm, but obviously upset. All I could say was it would be okay and I would get it cleaned up. I told her she needed to get a shower. She thought she had cleaned herself up enough, but I insisted she take a shower. She said she couldn’t because her dirty clothes were in the tub. So I got some gloves and a plastic bag and got her clothes and put them to soak in the washer.

Dad woke up (in this case he is lucky he can’t smell much anymore) and I told him what happened. Mom got out some clean clothes and went in to take her shower. Mom told me she wanted to get some “diapers” so she wouldn’t have to worry about having this happen again.

My husband got down the SpotBot  and I got to work. Mom had her bedroom door closed. I peaked in to see if I could see any spots on the floor there. She had her bathroom door open and the shower running so I closed the door and planned on checking later.

Some time passed and all of a sudden I heard Dad yelling that Mom had fallen. I went into the bathroom and she was sitting on the floor in her bra and panties. She said she had fallen off of the toilet and hit her head and arm.

My DH had to come I and help me get her up and we got her walker. I called her doctor and they wanted her to go to the ER since she hit her head.

Dad wanted me to call an ambulance in case something was going on that we weren’t aware of. He was afraid if I tried to driver her she might get worse. So, we made the trip in the ambulance.

The ER was VERY busy and Mom was put in a bed in the hallway. I’m pretty sure in the ambulance the EMT did the basic tests for stroke and took her vitals etc. In the hallway, they took her BP (206/89) temp and put the Pulse Oximeter on. Her readings were in the high 60’s- right around 68. At one point it got up to 80, but quickly went down. Her Oxygen levels were above 95.

Of course we had to wait a long time, because of how busy they were. That’s when Mom told me I need to make an appointment for her with Pam to get her hair done! What??? She decided that her hair didn’t look good. Of course she hadn’t even had a chance to comb it that day. I’m not calling Pam!

The D.O. talked to Mom and tested her reflexes and looked at her arm.  Neither her nurse nor the D.O. seemed to understand what a cochlear implant was or that there was actually a magnet under Mom’s skin on her skull. Mom had said she hit that when she fell. The D.O. told Mom to put ice on her arm. Mom needed to use the bathroom and when she got up she was dizzy, so the D.O. wrote a prescription for Antivert. I was told it is a prescription med for vertigo or dizziness.

And then she was let go.

We got home about 2 pm and had lunch. Mom was really out of it by then. We insisted she use her walker and she got mad at Dad and I stepped in and told her Dad loves her and that is why he wants her to use it. She said she really didn’t think he loved her. When I said he did she calmly said, “Oh shut up.” I let it go and she used the walker.

I went to Pamida to get her prescription filled and to buy some Depends. The “prescription” turned out to be an over the counter med available OTC for the last 25 years (I was told) evidently its active ingredient is Meclizine- the same ingredient in Dramamine. I went ahead and got it.

I gave her a dose when I got home although she didn’t really want it. I’ll call Dr. P and see what she thinks about Mom taking it… And she said she can’t wear the Depends as they contain plastic and she is “allergic” to plastic. News to me. She said she would wear them if she needed them- and of course the AD keeps her from understanding there is no way to tell when she is going to need them.

She was quiet throughout dinner that night and when I got home from a meeting that evening Dad came to me and asked me to give Mom one of his pain pills. (Hydrocodone) I told him no. I’m not going to let them share pain meds! This was common practice when they lived by themselves, but I am DEFINITELY not comfortable with this.It’s illegal for one thing for me to give Mom Dad’s prescription pain meds and I have no idea how it would interact with all of the other meds Mom takes. Mom was not happy with me (again!) but some things I will not budge on.

Change of Plans

It is not quite 5 AM and we should be almost to the hospital for Dad’s surgery.

Yesterday afternoon the hospital called us at about 2:30 pm to confirm the time of Dad’s surgery and went through all the pre-surgical questions and gave me all of the pre-surgical instructions.

Twenty minutes later I get a phone call from the doctor’s office.

Them: “Dr. C has rescheduled your father’s surgery to 11/15. Monday.”

Me: 11:15? We just got the call to be there at 5:30 AM.

Them:  No- not 11:15 AM—Monday -- Nov 15th. You will probably need to have him here at 5:30 AM. We will call you on Friday afternoon to verify the time.

Me: Wait- no. He is scheduled for tomorrow.

Them: Dr. C had to change the day. There’s an emergency surgery scheduled tomorrow now.

Me: But- wait. We have everything arranged. People have taken time off work, schedules have been re-arranged. I don’t understand.

Them: Dr. C had to change the date of the surgery. I’m sorry.

Me: I am too. Good bye. (CLICK)

Earlier in the day I spoke with my daughter who had unbeknownst to me made arrangements to make sure she was available to come and stay at our house last night, so she would be able to help me get my folks up and out early this morning.

She and my son had figured it all out:

Where they were going to leave my son’s car so he could attend class on Thursday evening.

My son-in-law had made arrangements at work to take Wed night and Thu night off so he could stay at home with the kids so my DD could be here with us. (He’s a truck driver) This means he has to pick up a couple of Sunday night runs to make up for the lost money, but he was willing to do that.

She had planned on bringing dinner so I wouldn’t have to worry about it since I had meetings last night.

I called her. And told her that if they were still in Big Town they should probably just pick up my son’s vehicle and bring it home.

Agggh. I don’t feel like writing this all out.

To shorten an already long story- I called the hospital “patient relations” hot line and told them what was going on. I cried. I explained  how difficult it has been with getting these appointments and the lack of communication within the hospital about my dad’s care.

They called the doctor’s office and someone from there called me back. I again explained my concerns- my dad has to wait 5 more days. He has been waiting for the next stroke. He has been off of his blood thinner and now will be for 5 more days. My mother has Alzheimer’s. We have to take her into consideration and make plans for someone to be with her at the hospital at all times. All our plans were made.  This is a disruption in the lives of more than one person. etc etc.

She was sympathetic. The doctor had a tough choice to make. He chose to treat someone else he thinks is more in danger than my dad. Now all his surgery’s are backed up.

So here we are. The wait is still on.  I can’t read how Dad is taking it. I don’t think it has hit Mom yet (although we told her) that Monday is her birthday.

I think I have calmed down. Went to prayer group and apologized to God for being so anxious. Felt more calm after that.

Switching gears now and gearing up for Monday.

 

 

Catching Up- a day at the clinic

Spent all day yesterday at the Hospital/Clinic with Dad as he went through all of his pre-op appointments. Surgery is scheduled for November 11th.

He had 9 appointments in all. The first one was at 8:00 am and the last at 3:00 pm. All looked good for the surgery. He will probably be the first surgery of the day- and will probably need to be at the hospital at 5:30 am on the 11th. We will be called the afternoon before.

It was a quiet and peaceful day. Mom stayed home with my DH and Dad and I were able to spend our time in silence and in quiet conversation. Some good discussion, but mostly quiet. And both of us grateful that Mom wasn't with us.

That may sound harsh, but one doctor's appointment for Dad with Mom there is a trial.  Getting from one place to another is a slow process and it is wrought with interruption.  When another appointment or two is added...

There are always people she "thinks" she knows and she feels she must stop and talk. When she finds out she doesn't know them, then they must hear the long explanation of how she was a nurse here for 40 years etc etc etc.

And then there are people she does know from the auxiliary and we must stop and talk to each one. 

Then there are the pregnant ladies who must know that mom was once a nurse in OB at this very hospital and she must know who their doctor is. And then we pray we can get her away before she starts touching their "baby bumps."

There are the ladies taking home their babies in the waiting area for someone to get the car and pick them up. We try to steer clear of those, Mom wants to look at the babies closely and touch them and while we know she means well, others do not.

There are the patients in wheel chairs Mom thinks she must push or help them figure out how the wheel chair works.

There are the complaints about how she should have brought her cane as her knees hurt or how she wish she had left her cane at home, she doesn't need it. There is the juggling of two books, and a heavy purse (and sometimes a cane as well) and the occasional water bottle or coffee or both.

There is the irritation when we tell her we must hurry and there is the resignation  (on our part) when we realize that is not going to happen.

There is the meal or snack that must be eaten out and the indecision as to what that should be. There is the questioning of everyone with her as to what they are going to eat and then the painful decision making as to what she will eat. There is the "I will not leave this table until I finish my coffee/tea I just poured" even if we are running late for another appointment.

There is the constant questioning as to what everyone is saying/has said or possibly will say. Not just our own conversations, but those of the people around us.

So- it was a quiet and peaceful day for Dad and I. Just the two of us, our own thoughts, speaking when we wished to and visiting if we wished with people we wished to visit with. (bad grammar I know)

My DH on the other hand,  took Mom to get her hair done and then took her out to lunch at a favorite local pizza restaurant. While there, Mom started talking (loudly) about  being fitted for her first diaphragm at the gynecologist office!

They had some other discussions as well and when my DH went to leave, a gentleman stopped him and told him the table-talk about the gynecologist office was inappropriate.  D politely (I hope!) asked the man if they have a family member with Alzheimer's and pointed out that chances are if they don't they will and he hoped the best for them.

Mom seemed to enjoy her time with my DH.  And how fun for him to hear the old diaphragm story! Love that man!

More Surgery for Dad

A quick post...

Dad saw the thoracic/cardiovascular surgeon today as a recheck after his triple A surgery. While there, I mentioned that Dad is also supposed to see him because he had a MRI while in the hospital for his TIA. Dr. C knew nothing about the MRI or that Dad had a TIA. Couldn't find the MRI on the computer. His assistant got a copy for him. I told Dr. C we had been told his carotid artery was 65% blocked. It is.

Long story short: Dad is having his right carotid artery cleaned out on November 11th. Usual hospital stay- 2 days. I'm praying for less than a week.

Prayer welcome and appreciated. I will write more later...

Updates on Dad

Dad's mini-stroke was determined to be a mini-stroke and not a TIA- because according to his doctors -a TIA lasts for 10 minutes or less and Dad's lasted at least a half an hour. That's not what it says on the Mayo Clinic website, but if that's the terminology they wish to use, then that's okay with me. I am thinking mini-stroke may be more accurate because to me it seems there are residual effects from the incident. His personality seems to have changed slightly, understanding and quick response seems to have diminished. Perhaps its just because I see him all the time and when he is different, it stands out.


Dad came home on Monday afternoon the 18th. He was started on Coumadin/Warfarin. I know this is very common and there were a LOT of questions why Dad hasn't been on this before. He had a stroke in the late 90's and he has had major heart surgery. Whatever the reasoning, he is on it now. They want his INR to be between 2-3.

We were worried about this because he seems to have issues with clotting, and he bruises very easily, but the INR test done in the hospital was only 1.1 and the test done the the 20th and 22nd were 1.2 and 1.4- so he has a way to go before he hits the desired 2-3.

On Sunday, the 17th, Urology was brought in for a consult because he wasn't fully voiding. The urologist talked about putting him on a "shrinker and relaxer" for his prostate.He said he had to see if the hospital had it because it is so new and is a combo of Flomax and Avadart. To make a long story shorter, he forgot to prescribe it and there were NO NOTES in his medical records to even show this particular doctor saw my dad. My daughter was there when the doc came in and knew him from a surgery my grandson had. So, we finally got the prescription and have found out this is SO new the pharmacies around here have to order it. It will not be available until Monday afternoon. It is also so new it is not listed on the http://www.nlm.nih.gov/ website.

My daughter asked Dad how he was feeling about what happened. Dad said it reminds him of his favorite song by Frank Sinatra-  My Way



Dad has always loved the song- but his emphasis now is on the first line. "And now the end is near; and so I face the final curtain."

I don't know if that is true. I don't know if the end is near; but if he feels that way, it might delay in his getting better.

Not an easy subject to discuss and made even harder because it is nearly impossible to get Dad alone long enough for a good discussion.

I'm not sure how I feel about this.

Lots of things to think and pray about.

My Dad

Last night around 11:30 pm, Dad had a mini-stroke. Ar first they told us it was a TIA, but since it lasted longer than ten minutes, it's classified as a mini stroke.

Mom and I got home from the ER at 3 AM and went to bed. I was up at 6 AM to get ready for church. I went to the first service and then left- my Lay Leader took care of the 2nd service. It was Laity Sunday so I didn't have to do a lot any way.

My daughter was up at the hospital early to be eyes and ears again. Finally got HIPPA  (spelling?) forms signed so she can legally talk  to the doctors and nurses and get information.

Echo cardiogram done, head CT done, blood work etc. MRI will come tomorrow. Dr. on call upset that my dad has never been on Coumadin, a blood thinner, even after his stroke in 97 and since he has A-fib.

There are more questions than answers at this point.

Mom is confused of course- lack of sleep and all of this is hindering my capability to think straight. I'm sure it is worse for her...

Missed my first Book Club pot luck at church tonight.

Thank God for these people in my church who just step up and do what needs to be done.

Dinner and then bed are on the agenda. More to come as more is known.