Saturday, November 6, 2010

Catching Up- a day at the clinic

Spent all day yesterday at the Hospital/Clinic with Dad as he went through all of his pre-op appointments. Surgery is scheduled for November 11th.

He had 9 appointments in all. The first one was at 8:00 am and the last at 3:00 pm. All looked good for the surgery. He will probably be the first surgery of the day- and will probably need to be at the hospital at 5:30 am on the 11th. We will be called the afternoon before.

It was a quiet and peaceful day. Mom stayed home with my DH and Dad and I were able to spend our time in silence and in quiet conversation. Some good discussion, but mostly quiet. And both of us grateful that Mom wasn't with us.

That may sound harsh, but one doctor's appointment for Dad with Mom there is a trial.  Getting from one place to another is a slow process and it is wrought with interruption.  When another appointment or two is added...

There are always people she "thinks" she knows and she feels she must stop and talk. When she finds out she doesn't know them, then they must hear the long explanation of how she was a nurse here for 40 years etc etc etc.

And then there are people she does know from the auxiliary and we must stop and talk to each one. 

Then there are the pregnant ladies who must know that mom was once a nurse in OB at this very hospital and she must know who their doctor is. And then we pray we can get her away before she starts touching their "baby bumps."

There are the ladies taking home their babies in the waiting area for someone to get the car and pick them up. We try to steer clear of those, Mom wants to look at the babies closely and touch them and while we know she means well, others do not.

There are the patients in wheel chairs Mom thinks she must push or help them figure out how the wheel chair works.

There are the complaints about how she should have brought her cane as her knees hurt or how she wish she had left her cane at home, she doesn't need it. There is the juggling of two books, and a heavy purse (and sometimes a cane as well) and the occasional water bottle or coffee or both.

There is the irritation when we tell her we must hurry and there is the resignation  (on our part) when we realize that is not going to happen.

There is the meal or snack that must be eaten out and the indecision as to what that should be. There is the questioning of everyone with her as to what they are going to eat and then the painful decision making as to what she will eat. There is the "I will not leave this table until I finish my coffee/tea I just poured" even if we are running late for another appointment.

There is the constant questioning as to what everyone is saying/has said or possibly will say. Not just our own conversations, but those of the people around us.

So- it was a quiet and peaceful day for Dad and I. Just the two of us, our own thoughts, speaking when we wished to and visiting if we wished with people we wished to visit with. (bad grammar I know)

My DH on the other hand,  took Mom to get her hair done and then took her out to lunch at a favorite local pizza restaurant. While there, Mom started talking (loudly) about  being fitted for her first diaphragm at the gynecologist office!

They had some other discussions as well and when my DH went to leave, a gentleman stopped him and told him the table-talk about the gynecologist office was inappropriate.  D politely (I hope!) asked the man if they have a family member with Alzheimer's and pointed out that chances are if they don't they will and he hoped the best for them.

Mom seemed to enjoy her time with my DH.  And how fun for him to hear the old diaphragm story! Love that man!

1 comment:

Cher said...

I'm so glad you and Grandpa had a wonderful day! You both needed a small break.. DD (Dear Dad) needed to know what it's like to take care of her by himself.. and yes I still can't stop laughing that she told him that story :) It was also nice to hear him in his own way stand up and support what is going on... A lot of people don't understand that you can't make some one with Alzheimers "Behave" it's my grandmother not my 4 year old son.. I can't give her a time out for stomping her feet and throwing a fit because she want's to use the staff doors and elevators... She is still my elder... I've learned to not let the weird looks embarres me as much.. but it's still hard. Props to DD for standing up :)