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Thursday, October 28, 2010

Thursday Intervention

After the Thursday fall, I had gone into Mom's bathroom and had found an assortment of over the counter pain killers in her medicine cabinet.  Concerned because of her AD and how she has not been comprehending the problem of combining certain medications, I felt it was time to take all of the over the counter meds out of her medicine c cabinet except for her Tylenol arthritis. My mind was not made up as to whether or not she should keep even that in her medicine cabinet, so after giving her the Tylenol Arthritis after her fall, I placed it in the kitchen with a note saying what time I had given it to her.

I went ahead to my meeting and when I got done, I had a text message from my SS saying that "Grandma is on the rampage and wants to talk to you about her medicines."

I'm going to try to make a long story short here:

I got home and Mom didn't say a word about the medicine. Even when I asked if her head was hurting and if the Tylenol had helped. Nothing.

So before my DD and SS got ready to leave again, I went into Mom and Dad's living room and sat down and asked her how she was again. I knew we were headed for a blowup and I honestly didn't want to face it alone.

As it turns out- we ended up having a family intervention. My DH, my DD, my SS and I all talked with Mom about her disease and what we are trying to accomplish by having her live with us. Mom explained her frustration about not being able "to do anything for herself" anymore.

We pointed out that she is still able to do many things for herself. She can dress herself and pick out her own clothes. She showers by herself, she can still watch TV and read and do her Soduko. She can feed herself. She is doing her own laundry and making her own beds. She helps out in the kitchen by setting the table. She fixes her own breakfast and her own lunch. She can pray and she can talk and she can visit with people.

I explained that some things I have to do. Somethings I have to make decisions about. I can't pretend she doesn't have a problem and I can't ignore my responsibility as her daughter to take care of her.

I told her, that if it gets to the point where she will not accept my giving her medication to her as the doctors have prescribed, she will have to live in a place where she receives her medication by an RN.

My SS and DD told her over and over that we love her and that we are trying to keep her out of a nursing home. But they were also honest about how difficult is has been when she has been so nasty to us. At that point Mom cracked a hurtful "joke" and my DD said, "See Grandma- that's not funny to us. That may be funny to you- but it is hurtful to us."

I know it may not sound possible, but I think Mom got it. At least for awhile. There were lots of tears and lots of hugs.  I pray it lasts.

1 comment:

Thimbelle said...

I am *so* sorry - about the fall (Thank God she wasn't injured worse than she was!) and about the need for the "intervention".

I know you have more difficulty with meds because your Mom was an RN, but is is possible you could talk to her doctor about something for her behavior? As Grassflower says - not to zombify her, but to help calm her, take that edge off. (I'm thinking Seroquel is what is typically used... Grassflower would know)

(((hugs))) Thim