I took Mom to daycare this morning- not her usual day, but thought she might like to go after yesterday. On the way, we had this conversation:
How were the social workers yesterday?
Well they were nice. They think your Dad and I should move to assisted living. I told them we looked into it but we can’t afford it.
They said there are two assisted living places that take Medicaid.
I don’t think Dad wants to move to assisted living.
I don’t know. I haven’t asked him.
I think he’s content to live with us. But I wonder if you need to be around more people.
I do. I really do. What do you think of assisted living?
For you, by yourself?
Yes. I think I would like it.
The only thing that bothers me is you being alone in your own place at night. Without your hearing aids, you can’t hear anything. And that bothers me.
Yes- I don’t think I’d like that.
Well Mom, there is another alternative. You could live at the nursing home.
I could? Would I still get to go to the daycare?
Well, no., you couldn’t go to the day care, but you could be involved in the activities of the nursing home. They do things too. And other people could help you and you could help other people.
I would like that. Nelda was there before she died.
I know. And there would be people your age there. You might even find people you know.
I wish I knew if I’d like it.
Well, there is what they call “respite.” You could try it for a month and see what you think. And we could se what we think.
Where would I do this?
At the nursing home where the daycare is.
Would I still get to go to the daycare?
No- but they have activities. And it’s much nicer than the old nursing home where Noni and Grandpa were.
I don’t remember your grandmother being in a nursing home.
Well, I’m pretty sure she was for awhile.
And I know your grandfather wasn’t. I would remember that!
Do you think we should do this?
Let me check into it. Why don’t you talk to Denise (the head of the daycare) when you have time today and see what she thinks?
We arrived at the center and I went in with her to sign her in. As we were going in, Mom spotted one of her friends sitting waiting. Mom whispered to me:
That’s my friend. I’ll introduce you. I help take care of her here.
Mom introduced us and the lady stood up and gave me a hug and whispered in my ear:
I want you to know, I take care of your mom while she’s here. She always wants to sit with me and we go to the ladies room together.
I smiled as I left.