Yesterday was a good day for Mom. She had two doctor’s appointments. She didn’t remember why she had the first one with a dermatologist. She doesn’t remember that she had a basil cell carcinoma removed a few years ago and needs to have it rechecked and her skin checked for other issues, but she did fine. And normally she hates the doctor- Dr. N is very outgoing and smiles- ALL THE TIME- and that normally (recently) annoys her. But yesterday she found it charming.
Second appointment was with her primary doctor, Dr. P. Dr. P always gives us an hour appointment. On the way there, Mom told me I couldn’t come in, but I told her I had to because I do her medicines and I need to talk with Dr. P. I told her I would leave during the physical itself if she wanted me to.
Dr. P was pleased with her blood pressure, her ankles (no swelling) and her lung function. She told Mom it has made a big difference since I started making sure she got her pills every day. We were able to discuss many things with mom. I know she won’t remember everything, but that’s okay- I can at least tell her truthfully we have discussed things. We now have a prescription for Mom to get a walker. The “Cadillac” of walkers according to Dr. P. Mom doesn’t need it all the time, but she is sometimes unstable on her feet. She does really good at the grocery store with one of those small carts- so this should help. We’ll rig it out with a basket and cup holder and that should be awesome.
We also talked about Adult Day “Programs.” (Adult Day Care) and Dr. P thinks it would be a good thing for Mom and for us. So I’ll check into the place she suggested.
We also talked about nursing homes. Yikes! And she told us which two she believes would be best for Mom. “When the time comes.” Mom was okay talking about all of it.
I kept telling her what a good day she was having and that seemed to make her happy.
But my Dad! O dear! We were in the coffee shop in the clinic (yes- a coffee shop with all sorts of bad things to eat in a clinic!) and Mom and Dad know the young woman who works there. Mom was talking to the young woman (who knows Mom has AD) and Dad wanted to say something, but Mom kept talking… He yelled at her- “Dammit woman- keep your mouth shut for a minute!” Yikes! There were small children in the room. A very small room. I turned to him and loudly said (okay- I may have yelled too) “Dad!!” And looked at the mother of the children and mouthed the words “I am so sorry…”
I got my coffee and walked out of the shop into the waiting room. I went back in to get a napkin and Dad was talking to this young woman about her fiancé. As I walked in I heard him say, “So tell me about your boyfriend. What does he do besides make love to you?” (Aw please Dad! Really? You said that to a 20 something year old woman???) I walked out. Quickly.
Later that evening I told him I was upset with what he said to Mom in front of the children that were there. He really seemed to have no idea he said it.
I said nothing about the other- he seemed flustered enough about the swearing…