Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Mom Knows She Has Alzheimer's

It happened Monday night. Mom and Dad's car is dying a painful and expensive death. It's time to buy a new one. But the talk about buying a new car turned ugly when Mom decided she was the one to make the decision which car to buy and insisted she would be driving the new car.

I told her that she would not be driving and a loud "discussion" ensued. I finally called out to Dad and my DH and told them both to come into the dining room to talk. They did.

Its hard to explain what happened, but it was Dad that told Mom she has Alzheimer's. He broke down crying. I don't remember his ever crying like that before. Mom listened to what we had to say. She asked why we didn't tell her sooner and we explained that we had tried, but when we tried she would deny it and would get very angry.

It was hard. Very hard. But in the end it seemed to be the right time and the right place. God has His own timing. And there is a time for everything under heaven...

Dad told Mom how much she means to him and how he never wanted to spend his life with anyone other than her. He told her he still wants to spend the rest of his life with her and that they will get through this together.

Mom talked about how unfair this all is. Her hearing loss, her problems with her mouth, and now this. And it is unfair. She wanted to know what she had done to deserve this. The answer. Nothing.

My DH spent a lot of time talking to Mom and telling her we will take care of her, that we love her and that we are family. He gave her a big hug and kissed her and told her everything would be okay.

It was very emotional and yet very cathartic. Mom told us it explained a lot of things she didn't understand. D told her how important it is for her to take her medications as prescribed and that she needs to let me help her with that.

Its funny I remember everything Dad and my DH said, but most of what I said is a blank. I can still feel the emotions- they were very raw.

Mom wanted to know who knows she has this disease. She apologized for being a "burden."

There seems to be a sort of peace now. And it continued into Tuesday. Mom and I had long talks on Tuesday about Alzheimer's and about her condition. We talked about end of life issues and her wishes. It was a very good day- and Mom seemed to still be at peace. She joked about her now having an excuse for not remembering things and said she would "try" not to take advantage of it and then laughed.

I pray this continues although I know the chances are slim. But I will cherish this time for as long as it lasts.

1 comment:

Cher said...

Wow, I was in tears when I read this. I'm glad she knows and that the 3 of you were able to tell her instead of the Dr. having to. I hope things stay peaceful for you all for a while. Always thinking of you.