Saturday, March 6, 2010

Letter to Mom

Letter to my mom.

I'm giving this to Mom today, hoping something tangeble will help her when she gets concerned about the move. Maybe it will, maybe it won't...

Saturday, March 06, 2010

Dear Mom,

I’d like to try to address some of the concerns I think you have about the move to our house. I probably won’t address them all, but will do the best I can.

1. Asking you and Dad to move in with us was a joint decision between D (my husband) and I. Our son was consulted as well. We are all in agreement. D has been very, very supportive and in fact encouraged me to ask you and Daddy point blank if you would move in with us.

2. I have not changed my mind during the packing phase of this move. I will not change my mind.

3. I have no desire to throw away or get rid of things you love or think you need. What I do have is a desire to make our living spaces clean, safe and uncluttered. Because of our moving, D and I have learned that if we don’t really need things, we get rid of them. Not EVERYTHING- but we try to make sure there is a good reason to keep something. Otherwise moving becomes a real pain in the neck.

4. I did throw away food. It was a judgment call. Would I serve a particular item in my home? If not, it got pitched. Having been hospitalized twice with diverticulitis, I have no desire to go to the hospital again because I might eat something “iffy.” I err on the side of caution, and will continue to do so.

5. I do sound like Dad sometimes. And sometimes I sound like my Mom. But I usually just try to sound like me. That seems to work the best for me.

6. I love you. I’m concerned for your health and for your safety. (I’m using that in the plural- you and Dad)

7. Being concerned about you is not being critical of you. Things change in our lives as we get older. Sometimes we need more help than we realize. Most of the time it is easier to see when someone else needs help than to see that we need help.

8. You and Daddy gave me excellent examples of caregiving in the way you took care of my grandmother and Grandpa when they got older. Because of those examples, I see the need and care enough to step in and be the bad guy at times. I don’t like it; I know you didn’t like it when you were the caregiver. But this is life and with God’s help we will all get through it.

9. We don’t know what will happen once the move is complete. We will need time to adjust. Some things will go smoothly and some things will be rocky. We, you, Dad, D and I will do the best we can. What will our roles be? I don’t know for sure. But every human being has a purpose in life throughout their lives. We will just need to be patient as we figure it out.

I love you with all my heart-

Your Daughter

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