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Wednesday, March 24, 2010

All My Fault...

Mom came to me tonight to tell me she is having problems with her medicine. She is confused as to what she is to take and when. She blames this on me, because I have questioned her on if she is taking her meds correctly and she says by doing that I have lowered her self-confidence which in turn has made her forget how to take care of her meds. She said that since she is a nurse, and still has her license, she should be able to dispense her meds and anyone else's.

She says that the move has not been good for her and that she misses home. She would never have moved if it hadn't been for Dad. She said Dad needs some one to watch over him, but she doesn't. She says the move to our home is going to shorten her life.

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I sat and listened to her and didn't say much. She was too defeated sounding to make many comments. I hate this. This is not her fault- and it is not mine. I don't think she was really blaming me, she is just struggling with yet another loss. She's lost most of her sense of taste and most of her hearing. She is losing some sight as well. This is not fair and I wish I could fix it. I can't.

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Mom came back a few minutes ago and thanked me for listening to her. She is really having a hard time and I think she is beginning to realize it. Maybe ignorance is better... I just don't know.

1 comment:

Thimbelle said...

(((Hugs))) this is one of the hard parts. Remember the Anosognosia? You just had a classic example of that. (It doesn't make it any easier knowing what it is, or why it is happening, but it may help *your* sanity in the long run).

Would your Mom at least allow you to purchase her some pill boxes to help keep her meds straight? That worked for my Mom for a couple of months, then finally The Doctor (who my Mom just adores) told her "I want Thim to handle your medicine, and I want YOU to focus on staying healthy and strong! Let her help you with these little things!" We talked about it all the way home (reinforcement) and then *as soon as we got home* we took her meds and put them into a little basket, and I have taken care of them ever since. That day, I went to our local pharmacy, and got some of the little paper cups that they use @ the nursing home/hospital to dispense meds in. Then at Wal-Mart, I found some little boxes in the craft section that have three rows of four compartments (breakfast/lunch/dinner/bedtime). Now, every month when I refill her meds, I take those little boxes, put a cup in each compartment, and set up 5 of the boxes (15 days worth) at one time. Then, for each meal, I remove the little cup and put it next to her plate.

Maybe you could convince her to at least put her meds somewhere "central" to your dining table so that you could begin to gradually just take over control of them a bit at a time? One thing I think you will notice sooner than later is that your Mom will begin to "relax" in her new environment, and as she does, she will "give over" certain tasks/responsibilities easier than she might have in the past.

(((hugs))) Always remember that there are a whole bunch of us on this same path - just at different places. Thim :)