Another LONGGG Day…

I was up early again- always am up early on Sundays. It’s a habit and I like it. I like being at the church at 8AM and having a full hour to greet people and work out any problems that may come up.

Mom was up at 6AM but didn’t come looking for me. So I took her pills to her at 7AM. She looked at me in surprise.

“What are you doing up so early?”

“Well, I’m here to give you your pills.”

“Already? It’s early.”

“Yes, you need these before breakfast.”

Takes the pills.

I finish getting ready for church.

At 7:55AM I go in to give her the after breakfast pills. She normally eats as soon as she receives her before breakfast pills, But not today…

“Why are you bringing me these? I haven’t eaten yet. I never eat before 8AM.”

Smile. Leave and go to church. The pills can wait till I get home…

**************************

Meet in the afternoon with the family of the deceased. We have her memorial service pretty well planned I think. I go home and lay on the couch and nap while The Boy watches football. DH is at work.

Someone is shaking me awake and talking to me. Its Mom. I don’t hear what she says.

“What do you want Mom?”

Ignores me-to The Boy:

“Are you watching football?””

Makes comments about the Bears and the Packers.

“Mom- what did you want?”

“What do you mean what do I want?”

“I didn’t hear what you said. You woke me up.”

“You were sleeping? I thought you were watching football.”

“No- what did you want.”

“I don’t know. Oh yes- When are we having dinner? Oh wait- don’t tell me. DH is working so it won’t be until about 7PM.”

“That’s right.”

“Well- that was a stupid thing for you to ask me!”

“What? Mom?”

“Of course I know  when we are going to eat- why would you even ask me?”

“Huh?”

Mom walks out.

Good night Gracie…

Saturday night continued…

9:59 PM- off to see Mom with her pills. She doesn’t want them. Not then- of course not. She wants to talk more about her tooth. And she doesn’t want to take her sleeping pill. Wants Dad to give it to her later so she can “Sleep-in later!”

“No Mom- you need to take these now. I’ve got to get to bed.”

“You never want to talk about things when I want to talk about them.”

“Mom- I’m very tired and I need to go to bed. Take your pills.”

“I’m not taking this one now- (sleeping pill- actually not a sleeping pill- a relaxation medication) Your father will give it to me later.”

“No you need to take it now.”

Look over to where my father sits 3 feet away watching Frasier. He is ignoring the whole conversation even though it is getting loud and heated.

“I’m not going to take it- (stomps foot)”

“Fine (yes I have raised my voice…) Don’t take it. Don’t take any of them. I don’t care. I’m going to bed.”

And I leave. And I go to bed.

Okay- so...more conversation about cough medicine

Okay- so last night went fine. Mom was really tired and I had to wake her up in her chair to take her medicines. She went to bed probably around 11:00 PM and slept until 7:30 AM. Yeah! No coughing or anything! She says she felt good.

So... at 9:30 AM we had to leave for a doctor's appointment for my Dad. Mom wanted cough medicine. I told her I would give it to her at 10AM. She raised a fit and kept yelling at me even after we got in the car. I turned on the radio. She started screaming- "Okay then! Try and drown me out."

I turned off the radio.

"Mom, I will give it to you at 10AM."

"I'm going to ask your Dad's doctor if I should be able to take it."

"No- you won't. This is Dad's appointment and it is about him. If you need to see the doctor, I will take you."

I asked Mom if she had taken her inhaler.

"Yes! As soon as I got up. That just makes it easier to breathe. It doesn't help the cough."

Right before we got to the doctor's office, she took out her inhaler and took a puff on it.

"Mom, I thought you had used your inhaler."

"Yes, I did."

"You can only use it 4 times a day."

"Yes, two puffs four times a day."

Get to the clinic and ask Mom if she needs to see a doctor.

"No! I just need my cough medicine."

I pour her medicine and try to hand it to her. She just looks at me and makes no move to take it. In the mean time, Dad is getting out of the car.

"Do you want this?"

"Yes!" Grabs it out of my hand.

We go in to Dad's appointment, which went very well.

There is a coffee shop in the clinic, so they go in for a cappuccino and I get an iced tea. They sit in there and talk to the barista (my dad worked with her for a while when he worked briefly for Star Bucks)

The pharmacy is right next door so I go there and ask if there is ANY cough medicine she can take along with Mucinex. No. Nothing. Nada. And they explain why.

I go out and explain to Mom and she doesn't believe it. I ask if she would like to talk to the pharmacist. She wants to and she does, and she gets the same result. Except now in talking to the pharmacist, she decides she will take Delsym cough medicine at night (12 hour dose) and then Mucinex during the day if she needs it. Okay. Fine. Buy Delsym.

On the way home, Mom uses her inhaler two more times. Ask her again about how often she should use it. She gets mad. Decide I just need to call doctor.

10:00 PM. Take Mom's meds to her.

"I don't want that. I want my Mucinex and my Robitussin."

"you can have one of the other. But you and the pharmacist said you were going to take Delsym."

"Why won't you listen to me?"

"Do you want Delsym or Mucinex?"

"Mucinex. I'm going to write all of this down and show Dr. P. She will understand I need both!"

"Okay. Good night Mom."

Conversations with Mom

Condensed version...really!


Saturday morning I found an empty bottle of Robitussin DM on the counter. 


When I saw Mom, I asked her if it was hers and she said yes and that she needed it refilled. I really didn't think anything of it until later in the day when she asked if I had bought her some more yet. 


"Do you need it today?"


"Well, don't make a special trip, but I usually take it every night before bed."


Warning buzzer goes off in my head...

"You do? But you also take Mucinex DM at bedtime. I think they are the same drug."


"No they aren't. I take the Mucinex to break up my cough and I take the Robitussin to stop my coughing at night so I can sleep."


"I'll have to check the labels Mom."


Later:


"Mom, the two medicines are the same. You really shouldn't take both at the same time."


"THEY ARE NOT THE SAME! I need the Mucinex for long-term nighttime protection and the Robitussin to stop my cough. The Robitussin gets in the system faster because it is liquid. I ALWAYS take this. I will not overdose."

After dinner, my DH and I go to the store. He talks about buying a bottle of Robitussin and replacing the contents with red sugar water. It is tempting- but we decide thats not a good idea in case she (or someone else) really needs the Robitussin. We buy a bottle- the only one they had was sugar free. 


Come home. I reread the labels and tell Mom I can'[t give her both- she can take one or the other.


She starts yelling at me about being a nurse etc etc etc. I tell her I will call the Patient Advisory Nurse at the hospital where she worked for 40 years and ask them what they think. Mom is furious. I call anyhow.


The Patient Advisory Nurse tells me not to give both meds. 


I tell Mom. 


"You didn't talk to a real nurse! I'm a real nurse! I know more about medicine than you ever will. It's just d*mn cough medicine. Did you tell them I have asthma? Do you want me to keep your father up all night coughing?"


I walk away and at 10:00 I bring her medicine. 


"I can't believe you will not listen to me and give me my cough medicine! I'll be up all night!"


"Mom- I'm doing the best I can. I'm following the instructions given to me by a Registered Nurse. I read about it on the internet. I will give you one or the other."


She takes her pills and takes the Mucinex DM. She glares at me and when I tell her good night she says:


"It won't be a good night. Thanks for nothing."


Sunday morning I get up at 5:30 and see the light on in Mom's living room. She's coughing. Not a lot- its her normal first of the morning cough when she hacks up phlegm. I get my coffee and go in to take my shower.


At 7:00 AM Mom is in the kitchen waiting for me. She is mad- it is all written in her face and her body language.


"Did you her me last night? I coughed ALL NIGHT LONG."


" No Mom, I didn't hear you."


"Well good for you. I'm sure I kept your Dad awake all night. I finally got up at 4:00 AM and came out here. All I've done is cough. I can't sleep. Would you PLEASE give me some cough medicine!!"


"Mom, the Mucinex DM is 12 hour. You had some at 10:00 AM."


"I want it NOW!"


"Mom, I'll call the patient advisory nurse."


"Don't you call anyone? Who are you going to call? Well I hope she's a real nurse. And you tell her I'm a nurse too etc etc etc..."


I call the patient advisory nurse. I explain what is going on and that my mom has Alzheimer's and that she is a retired nurse. I put the nurse on speaker phone and she can her my mom yelling at me about the cough medicine.


Nurse: "She can't take those medicines together, especially with asthma. Is she taking her Flonase and her albuterol inhaler?"


I ask Mom.


"I take the Flonase at night. And I can't take the inhaler all the time, it's not good for my heart."


"Mom, aren't you supposed to take it 4 times a day?" 


"I take it PRN (medical speak for "as needed") I always take it before bed. I don't know why you won't just give me the cough syrup. It is just cough syrup!!! I have never over dosed on medication and I have never given anyone else the wrong dose. Is she a real nurse? Where is she at? Is she at (mom's) hospital? Does she know I'm a nurse? "




Nurse: It isn't "just cough syrup."


Nurse: Is she wheezing?"


 "I haven't heard her wheeze. Mom are you wheezing?"


"I don't know. I can't hear it if I'm wheezing."


"Can't you feel it when you're wheezing?"




Nurse: Have her take a couple of deep breaths."


"Mom, take a couple of deep breaths."


No wheezing- no coughing.


Nurse: "Tell her she can have the Robitussin DM at 10:00 AM. Her records indicate she is supposed to be taking the plain Mucinex- not the DM. Then she could have both. If she gets worse, bring her in to the ER."


"Are you documenting this?"


Nurse: "Yes, it will be in her records."


Hang up.


"Mom- you can have the Robitussin at 10AM. D (my husband) will give it to you then. I have to get ready for my job- I have a church service in just a bit."


"Go! I don't care!"


I left.


After church- at 11:30 AM I come home to find the Robitussin dose cup sitting at Mom's place at the table with the medicine still in the cup.


Mom comes out of her living room. I don't want to ask- but I have to...


"Are you feeling better?"


"No."


"Did D give you the Robitussin that is sitting here?"


"He gave me something. But I don't know if it is Robitussin. So I didn't take it! I want to see the bottle."


I get the bottle and the box.


"Mom- it is sugar free and has no added coloring or flavors. That's why it is clear and not red."


Looking at the box. "I'm not diabetic. I don't need this."


"Mom, it is the only Robitussin DM they had at the grocery store. Anyone can take it, its not just for diabetics."


Mom read the box and bottle. "I can't think straight. I'm too tired from coughing all night."


I haven't heard her cough since I got home. "Are you still coughing?"


"I don't know. I haven't tried to cough." (?????)


"Do you want to see a doctor?"


"No, I just needed my cough medicine."


"Are you going to take it now?"


"I don't know. (pout) I haven't decided.


"If you take it, I need to know what time you took it."


"Why? Its just cough medicine!"

"Just let me know, okay? If its still sitting here in an hour, I'm throwing it away.


Five minutes later, she hands me the empty cup and a note saying she took it at noon.


What will tonight bring I wonder?

Dad

Dad is anxious and worried. This is new- I've never really seen him this way before and it is difficult in many ways. The more anxious he is, the more anxious Mom gets. The more anxious he is the more anxious I get, but can't show it...

He says this "thing" with his heart is really bothering him. I can imagine! And he wasn't happy that the doctor upped his new medication- he doesn't like the new one and is afraid it is making things worse.

They are trying to reassure him that sometimes it takes awhile to adjust the medications.

He's sleeping late today which seems to mean he didn't get to sleep until late.

Today he goes in for a sonogram of his kidneys.

Okay- so here is the big question- (and I know there is no answer...)

Mom has Alzheimer's.

Dad doesn't.

If I were running the universe (thank God I'm not!) people with Alzheimer's would get the bad diseases and illnesses so they wouldn't have to suffer as long... 

Or would that be too unfair?

As I keep telling myself- and everyone else- life isn't fair.

Got to go. I get to run away for awhile this morning for a hair appointment. "My Friends" as my hairdresser calls my gray hair are getting a pick-me-up for fall.

Today

As I'm writing, I'm sitting here waiting for the cardiology department to call my dad back. Since his surgery, his heart rate has been high (99 or above) and since changing his BP medication, his BP is high.

Yesterday, Dad got a heart monitor to wear for 24 hours. Last night, he didn't sleep well and kept taking his BP and it was high all night. He is anxious and upset. This of course means Mom is anxious and upset too.

Of course, this means I must remain calm and composed and I'm doing the best I can. Sunday, our parish nurse took MY blood pressure and it was high for me- 136/86. I usually run about 105/70. Sooo.... I guess all of this is stressing me out more than I knew or wanted to know. Now I'm taking my BP daily too.

I've also made a deal with my husband. He is going to give me a $1.00 for every 1/2 hour I walk on the treadmill. The money is going to the church, so I can't let them down. It should benefit all of us.

Mom is upset because my DH didn't clean out the dryer lint after his last load of laundry. Today this is a BIG DEAL, which shows me she is anxious.

My husband tells me I let all of this bother me too much. That I "worry" too much and that I need to stop "babysitting" my parents.  We've had quite a discussion about this. Maybe its the difference between men and women. Or maybe its that I live with this everyday, that I am responsible for their medical visits and medication and their finances and that I am a pastor taking care of other people as well. And maybe its because I don't get to leave and go fishing on my boat every single day I have off from work. Or maybe its because I don't have a day off. Hmmm...

Well, fishing season will be over soon and then maybe he can take on some of these things that I am doing. Time will tell!

Last Night- Something New

Dad came into my office last night and said "Something new. I told your mother I was going to go and take my evening pills."

Conversation:

Dad: I'm going to go take my evening pills."

Mom: Pills? What pills?

Dad: My evening pills. Medicine.

Mom: You take pills?

Dad: Yes, I have for years.

Mom: Oh. Okay. I guess I forgot.

The Day My Mother's World Fell Apart

Today was a delightful spring-like, sunny, summer day. Today was the day my Mother's world fell apart. The day Dr. A told her she has Alzheimer's. The day when her "jokes" and her excuses fell on deaf ears, the day she was told by a doctor she should no longer drive, the day she was told if you don't take your blood pressure medicine you are asking to have a stroke, the day she was told she can no longer take care of any of her own finances, the day she was told she no longer can control her own medicine. The day her daughter became the enemy and her husband became a Judas.




Today was the day I took her out to lunch and she saw an old friend whose name she couldn’t remember. The day she asked her friend how her husband was and found out her friend’s husband had died in April. From Alzheimer’s. The day she told her friend that she's been tested for Alzheimer's but can't possibly have it. The day she told me I am always trying to find something wrong with her.


Today is the day that Dr. A told her that since her last appointment two years ago there have been significant changes in her memory, in being able to retrieve words, in impulse control. It was a beautiful day full of anger, sadness, denial and ugliness.


Mom says she remembers the conversation we all had on the Monday the 21st of June, but she remembers telling us we are wrong and she is just fine. She asked Dr. A today at least three times (and he reiterated it several more) if she has Alzheimer’s “now.” She was told yes each time.


What do you say to someone who has been told they are going to lose pieces of their mind and eventually die? What do you say to them when they wonder out loud if they would be better off with a brain tumor or brain cancer?


What do you say, how can you make them understand they are not being punished by God when it seems to them they are?


What can you do except hug and kiss them and tell them you love them? How can you possibly say, “It’s going to be okay?” How can it possibly "be okay?"

Mom has forgotten she told me I could take care of her medicines. I am in the dog house big time. But that's okay.

What is bad is finding my mother standing in front of the drawer  where I put her meds and seeing her with a fistful of medicine.

Me: "What are you doing?"
Her: I can't find my medicine and I will not take something if I don't recognize it."
Me: "What is it you don't recognize?" (Thinking she went to take one of her bedtime pills and didn't know what it was because she keeps forgetting to take it.)
Mom: Where are my pills for tomorrow?
Me: In your room where they always are.
Mom: No they're not.
Notice pills in Mom's hand...
Me: Why are you holding those pills?
Mom: They shouldn't be in here.
Me: Mom, let me have the pills.
Mom: No, their mine.
Me: I know, but I'm taking care of them for you.
Mom: No you are not!
Me: Yes, I am. (Holding out my hand) Give me the pills (sternly- but not yelling- kind of like talking to a child that may hurt themselves if they don't do what you say quickly)
Mom: Fine (drops pills- some reach my hand, some hit the floor)
Me: Dammit
Mom: What are you going to do with them?
Me: I'll take care of them Mom.
Mom: Where are my pills for the morning?
Me: (Trying to take her hand) Come here I'll show you.
Mom: (Angry) Don't you try to make me come with you. I am not a child!
Me: I know Mom, I'm sorry. Please come with me.

We go into the bedroom and her  pill box is on the counter. It is one that separates, so you can take Fridays pills with you, or Sat,Sun pills etc.

Me: See, here they are. And your bedtime pills are in this compartment.
Mom: I KNOW THAT.
Me: Well, Sunday's pills are in the Sunday container, see?
Mom: Yes. I don't use this container.
Me: Well, we are using it until we leave on vacation. Remember? We did this yesterday too.
Mom: No, I don't remember. This IS NOT THE WAY I DO IT!
Starts screaming about her medicine and her life and her pills. Looks at me and says sarcastically, 

Mom: Do I have to ask you if I can go to the bathhroom???
She goes in and slams the door.

Dad is in the hall.

Me: Dad, you have to back me up here.
Dad: Shakes his head. I know, I just hoped this would wait until we were back from vacation.

Medication and Money

Well, yesterday is over and today is a new day. I set up Mom's pill case on Thursday and moved her medicine bottles into a drawer in the dining room where I can keep track of them. This is just a first step. Mom not happy about it. It is not the way she does it.

She does not like it that I am setting up a weeks worth of night time pills. She doesn't do it that way. I can't even describe how she does it, it would be too confusing to put into words. I told her we are going to do it differently.

A number of confrontations yesterday concerning medication. She took two of her bedtime pills out of the pill case and did not remember what she did with them. One is her pill to help her get to sleep, the other is her allergy medication. She has no idea where they are and I've searched some and couldn't find them. I'll do a more thorough search today when they are gone if I have time.

I know she hasn't been taking those two pills like she should.

Found a small plastic container filled with various medications. Some were hers, some were Dads. I took that away.

Dad had numerous confrontations about money yesterday. She wants to take money out of "HER" savings account and put it in "HER" checking account so she will have $1000 to spend on vacation. Dad has told her no. He refuses to take her to the bank. This is causing quite a bit of anger. Bless him, he is doing a good job of holding his ground.

We are going to have to get a locking cabinet for the medicine. Uck. But Dr. A said we are going to have to set up our home like an Alzheimer's unit and I guess I see why.

On a personal note. Every time I forget anything a little part of me wonders if this will be my fate. When a word doesn't come quickly to me or I misplace my car keys (which I've been doing ever since I learned to drive) a little panic button is pushed. I would assume this is normal for all caregivers. But it is disconcerting.

More Pill Problems- Solution?

Well, this morning Mom got up early. At 8:30 she was running around looking for her daily pills. She "lost" them somewhere. 

I started looking with her and lo and behold- they were right where she thought they were supposed to be...

While we were looking for them, Mom said, "I need to refill my pill box. If you want to do it you can..." I can and I will. Now that the opportunity has presented itself- I will.

Thank you JC! 

Spend, Spend, Spend

Mom has started her early rising again. I thought when she first moved here it would go away, and it did, but now its back.  I don't know if this has to do with medication, not taking her pills to help her relax at night, or if it some other demon waking her early in the morning.  But she is up and wandering around  at 4:30, 5:00 in the morning, and for someone who doesn't go to bed until midnight and likes to sleep until 8:00, that is too early. You can see how tired she is just by looking at her face.

I avoid her in these early mornings because this is my "me time." The time I can get my coffee and wake slowly. Think about the day, write in my journal, relax and pray. I can hear her in the kitchen and wait until she leaves to get my coffee.

I tried at the beginning, to go into her living room and say good morning. But she does not have her hearing aid in yet this early and it is impossible to talk. Then she gets upset and frustrated and puts in her hearing aid too early. She can't wear it extra hours, it hurts her ears.

She has been on a spending spree- she just has to spend money. Dad and I have talked and we are going to try to take more control of the money and finances. Part of that will be Dad having to tell her "No." She's wearing Dad out wanting him to take her to their old town and go to the mall, go to the coffee shop, go to Sam's and buy stuff she doesn't need.

Mom and I got into it after her last shopping spree at Sam's. If you take one fiber capsule a day and you already have a bottle with 375 left in it, do you really need 800 more?

If you have cases of the small square Kleenex boxes, (and they are on every flat surface in your living areas) do you really need cases of the bigger boxes? Well Mom does. She decided she doesn't like the smaller square boxes anymore. Actually she denies ever having them before.

(I think I may have found the solution for the kleenex problem- I wonder if the church would mind if I parked this in the church parking lot behind the parsonage? LOL)

 
If we didn't live 30 minutes away, I'd start taking things back and not telling her. But that is a waste of time. If Dad can keep her local, it might not be such a problem.

I took Mom out to lunch yesterday so Dad could go into the other town by himself and get his blood work done. He begged me to find a way to keep her busy; he didn't want her to know and he didn't want her company. I made up an excuse and told her she could shop with me for a new blouse for church.

So today, I need to try to make up the time I lost and get some more writing done.

The other night, I ended up calling the Alzheimer's "hot line" (1-800-272-3900)and talked to a counselor who said we (me) need to get control of all of Mom's money in order to prevent a disaster.

That was brought home to me yesterday when Mom came and asked me what kind of new boat did my DH need? She had a catalog with boats in it and wanted to buy him a boat. I explained his boat is just fine, he doesn't need another. She said D had mentioned wanting a particular boat. I told her that "someday" he would love to have a BASS Boat, but he doesn't go out on lakes big enough to warrant that now. She wanted to know if he had a BASS Boat, if he would be able to "keep" the bass he catches. LOL. I tried to explain "catch and release" but I'm not sure it got through.

 When I told Dad about this, he said they had the same conversation. He told me he is afraid that when the condo sells, she will think she can spend all of that money. He is right. I need to call an attorney and get a trust set up. It can't wait for the sale of the home.

Mom has an appointment early June with the neuro/phychologist. I'm not sure what I hope, but it would be nice to be able to make sure she is on the right meds. A diagnosis might help us in the future as well.

More medication worries

Well today when I got home from church I checked both Mom and Dad's meds. I found a medicine cup with three Aricept pills, 5 days of blood pressure medication and 7 days of an over the counter med Mom takes for arthritis.

After I found that, I filled Dad's pill box. Mom and Dad had gone to church elsewhere, so I was able to fill Dad's pill box without Mom knowing. That seems to work,  but this not taking meds is another story.

When I try to talk to her about it, she denies missing any pills or comes up with an excuse for not taking them. And she gets defensive and angry.

I know if I don't get one of the doctors to back me up, this is just going to keep happening and it could get even more dangerous. It may be time to have a recheck with the neuropsychiatrist.

Medication Issues

The other day, Mom handed me some prescription bottles and said she needed them refilled. She asked me if we could get them refilled locally. We have of course done this already with a number of prescriptions. But she doesn't remember so I tell her I can do that. But when I see the bottles, I realize some have already been refilled at the new drugstore.

She denies this- saying she is completely out of the meds, including Aricept. I know she has Aricept. So I go into her room and find a stash of meds in a different drawer. Sure enough the Aricept is in there. Then I worry that she has not been taking it. There were only a couple left in the old bottle before I refilled the Aricept last week. She says she took it every day, that she just ran out.

So I got her 7 day pill container out of her bedroom. And I asked her to show me the Aricept. She showed it to me in the slot for the next day and I noticed there were two Aricept in the same slot. I opened the rest of the days, and there were duplicates of that medication and 2 others in the following days. 

Mom looked at the meds and when I mentioned there were duplicates, she said "I noticed that. I've been meaning to fix it." Of course, then I was afraid she's been taking two every day... But she assured me since she is a nurse, she wouldn't possibly do that...

I asked her to let me fix the pill container, but she got upset and said she would do it herself. I told her I wanted to check it after she was done and she said she understood.

It took her a little more than an hour and when she was done, she was missing a few days of thyroid and theophylline. And she was out of her sleeping medication and almost out of another med.

So I called in refills to the local drugstore and they said they would contact the old pharmacy to transfer the prescriptions and the meds would be ready by noon.

Mom and Dad went in the afternoon to get the medicine. She filled in her thyroid and theophylline into the days they were missing.


We had dinner together and then went to our separate living-rooms to watch tv and read. Around 10 pm Mom came in to our area very agitated.  She said when she got to the pharmacy (9 hours earlier) the pharmacist would not give her her sleeping medication. She claimed the pharmacist told her she was taking too many medications and she wouldn't fill it. Then that turned into the pharmacist was disapproving of her taking a sleep med and she had no right to judge her!

I suggested that perhaps she didn't hear (correctly) what the pharmacist said to her. With her severe hearing problems sometimes she doesn't hear things correctly. She got really worked up and upset by the very idea and was sure that the new pharmacy was judging her because she took sleeping pills. Then I suggested perhaps the prescriptions had expired and that made her angry too.

I promised her I would call the next morning and find out what was going on.

At 6 am the next morning, Mom wanted to know if I was going to call. She started in on how the pharmacist was judging her again and I quickly told her I would call as soon as the pharmacy opened!

When I called I talked to the lady who had helped Mom the day before. She was very nice and remembered Mom and told me right off the bat that when she had called the old pharmacy for the prescriptions she was told TWO of the prescriptions (sleeping aid and Vitamin K) had expired.  That is what she told Mom.

To make a long story shorter- it took two days to get the refills called in from the doctor's office and I spent quite a bit of time with the new pharmacy and pharmacist and found both to be exceedingly sweet, patient and helpful, in person as well as on the phone.

Mom wavered between being angry with the new pharmacy and the old pharmacy. She was angry with the fact that a prescription expires after a year even if refills haven't all been used. And then of course, the new pills and the old pills and the new containers and the old containers are not all alike and that is upsetting. Change is difficult.

Now my dilemma. How can I be sure Mom is taking her meds correctly? This is not something she is willing to discuss or to give on.

The last two days...

The last two days have gone really well for the most part. Dad is so very happy to be here and he tells me that more than once a day. Mom has her ups and downs, but I really think she is doing quite well considering the changes that have taken place in her life.



Thursday and Friday she spent a lot of time with my daughter C and her two youngest, Little Bit and Hot Rod. Little Bit is 5 and is a real girly girl. Hot Rod is 3 and loves his boy stuff. Mom showed Bit how to say “I love you” when holding hands. (A hand squeeze) They did a lot of hand-holding and squeezing. Mom had a great time. And both nights she slept really well. I think the extra stimulation during the day is helping.


My daughter C talked to Mom about driving. Mom was complaining we won’t let her drive by herself. C told her we were worried that since she can’t hear and can’t use a telephone, if something happened or if she did get lost, she wouldn’t be able to get help. Mom seems to be remembering that and has brought it up a couple of times.


She is confused about some things. It’s odd how one day certain things are confusing to her and the next day they are just fine.


Last night she told me she couldn’t use her computer. The screen was black. I asked her if she had turned it off, and she looked at me as if I were nuts. So I went and checked, and sure enough it was off.


Then she couldn’t remember how to forward her email to someone else (sorry folks- I showed her how again!) She also didn’t remember what a disc was and that her medicine list was on a disc. She blames my redoing her computer. And that is fine- I can handle that!


There was a lot of confusion about medicine last night and she was very agitated because she must “pour” Dad’s meds on Saturday night. I’ve offered to help and she seemed ok with that.


But she was not okay with realizing at the time that she wasn’t remembering things. I told her she was just tired and tomorrow would be better.

Getting Ready for the Move

I suppose I should say right off the bat that my Mom is 80 years old and my Dad is 85. Mom has been diagnosed with MCI- Mild Cognitive Impairment. She also has COPD, Chronic bronchitis, arthritis, lichen planus of the mouth,  bad knees and severe, profound hearing loss. Mom is not doing well and this is a difficult time.

Dad has had a stroke followed with carotid artery surgery. He's also had a heart attack followed by quadruple by-pass surgery, valve replacement and valve repair. He has had both knees replaced and surgery on his shoulders. I know he has had more surgeries than that- but those are the major. But for a guy of his age- he's actually in pretty good health.

After doing a lot of searching for an assisted living situation for my parents, we came to the conclusion that for their situation it would be best for them to move in with my husband and me. They live about 30 miles away and while that is not very far, it sure isn't easy to drop everything and head over there to find out if a problem is serious or not. At this time, I am a pastor serving a church that provides us with a handicapped accessible home that has plenty of room for my parents, ourselves and my college-age son.

Over the past few months, I have tried to go over to my parents home two or three times a month in order to go through their "stuff" and to weed out the things they won't need when they move. That hasn't been extremely successful, but some progress was made.

This week I am on vacation and I am spending all day each day with them trying to pack.

Yesterday was awful.

Dad has been sick since last week with a bad cough, cold and spitting up blood when he coughs. I took him to the doctor on Friday. He could have had an appointment in the morning, but he wouldn't go then because Mom has a hair appointment every Friday at noon so he wanted to wait. The next available appointment was at 4:30 in the afternoon. I was very upset with his stubbornness- but I believe he just didn't want to hear Mom complain about missing her hair appointment... To make a long story shorter- they decided Dad must have bronchitis and gave him an antibiotic and an albuterol inhaler.

Yesterday Dad wasn't feeling much better. When I got to their house, Mom started to complain that her stomach was hurting. And that her tongue felt "funny." She said she wanted to go to the doctor because she had an upset stomach. Then, she would tell me she needed to find out whether she needed to see a dentist or a doctor about her mouth and tongue. I couldn't pinpoint exactly what she wanted to do and I'm not sure she knew.

I ended up calling her primary doctor's office (she sees a gerontologist) and they suggested I bring her in to see them.

The doctor(Dr. P) thinks the switch from Namenda to Aricept is the cause of her stomach problems and that she is suffering from some anxiety due to the impending move.

Mom had switched from Aricept to Namenda last year because it caused stomach problems, but wanted to change back at the end of the year when her prescription insurance went into the Medicare Donut Hole and she had to pay full price for the Namenda.

So now Dr. P has suggested using  Omeprazole (Prilosec) in the morning. If that doesn't help the stomach then she'll need to switch back to the Namenda. Dr. P wants Mom to see the dermatologist about the lichen planus, so Wednesday morning its off to see "Dr. N." Mom thinks that Dr. N doesn't want to treat her for her lichen planus and doesn't remember he has treated her for it before. Dr. P is also going to check her Vitamin D levels.