Catching Up- a day at the clinic

Spent all day yesterday at the Hospital/Clinic with Dad as he went through all of his pre-op appointments. Surgery is scheduled for November 11th.

He had 9 appointments in all. The first one was at 8:00 am and the last at 3:00 pm. All looked good for the surgery. He will probably be the first surgery of the day- and will probably need to be at the hospital at 5:30 am on the 11th. We will be called the afternoon before.

It was a quiet and peaceful day. Mom stayed home with my DH and Dad and I were able to spend our time in silence and in quiet conversation. Some good discussion, but mostly quiet. And both of us grateful that Mom wasn't with us.

That may sound harsh, but one doctor's appointment for Dad with Mom there is a trial.  Getting from one place to another is a slow process and it is wrought with interruption.  When another appointment or two is added...

There are always people she "thinks" she knows and she feels she must stop and talk. When she finds out she doesn't know them, then they must hear the long explanation of how she was a nurse here for 40 years etc etc etc.

And then there are people she does know from the auxiliary and we must stop and talk to each one. 

Then there are the pregnant ladies who must know that mom was once a nurse in OB at this very hospital and she must know who their doctor is. And then we pray we can get her away before she starts touching their "baby bumps."

There are the ladies taking home their babies in the waiting area for someone to get the car and pick them up. We try to steer clear of those, Mom wants to look at the babies closely and touch them and while we know she means well, others do not.

There are the patients in wheel chairs Mom thinks she must push or help them figure out how the wheel chair works.

There are the complaints about how she should have brought her cane as her knees hurt or how she wish she had left her cane at home, she doesn't need it. There is the juggling of two books, and a heavy purse (and sometimes a cane as well) and the occasional water bottle or coffee or both.

There is the irritation when we tell her we must hurry and there is the resignation  (on our part) when we realize that is not going to happen.

There is the meal or snack that must be eaten out and the indecision as to what that should be. There is the questioning of everyone with her as to what they are going to eat and then the painful decision making as to what she will eat. There is the "I will not leave this table until I finish my coffee/tea I just poured" even if we are running late for another appointment.

There is the constant questioning as to what everyone is saying/has said or possibly will say. Not just our own conversations, but those of the people around us.

So- it was a quiet and peaceful day for Dad and I. Just the two of us, our own thoughts, speaking when we wished to and visiting if we wished with people we wished to visit with. (bad grammar I know)

My DH on the other hand,  took Mom to get her hair done and then took her out to lunch at a favorite local pizza restaurant. While there, Mom started talking (loudly) about  being fitted for her first diaphragm at the gynecologist office!

They had some other discussions as well and when my DH went to leave, a gentleman stopped him and told him the table-talk about the gynecologist office was inappropriate.  D politely (I hope!) asked the man if they have a family member with Alzheimer's and pointed out that chances are if they don't they will and he hoped the best for them.

Mom seemed to enjoy her time with my DH.  And how fun for him to hear the old diaphragm story! Love that man!

Updates on Dad

Dad's mini-stroke was determined to be a mini-stroke and not a TIA- because according to his doctors -a TIA lasts for 10 minutes or less and Dad's lasted at least a half an hour. That's not what it says on the Mayo Clinic website, but if that's the terminology they wish to use, then that's okay with me. I am thinking mini-stroke may be more accurate because to me it seems there are residual effects from the incident. His personality seems to have changed slightly, understanding and quick response seems to have diminished. Perhaps its just because I see him all the time and when he is different, it stands out.


Dad came home on Monday afternoon the 18th. He was started on Coumadin/Warfarin. I know this is very common and there were a LOT of questions why Dad hasn't been on this before. He had a stroke in the late 90's and he has had major heart surgery. Whatever the reasoning, he is on it now. They want his INR to be between 2-3.

We were worried about this because he seems to have issues with clotting, and he bruises very easily, but the INR test done in the hospital was only 1.1 and the test done the the 20th and 22nd were 1.2 and 1.4- so he has a way to go before he hits the desired 2-3.

On Sunday, the 17th, Urology was brought in for a consult because he wasn't fully voiding. The urologist talked about putting him on a "shrinker and relaxer" for his prostate.He said he had to see if the hospital had it because it is so new and is a combo of Flomax and Avadart. To make a long story shorter, he forgot to prescribe it and there were NO NOTES in his medical records to even show this particular doctor saw my dad. My daughter was there when the doc came in and knew him from a surgery my grandson had. So, we finally got the prescription and have found out this is SO new the pharmacies around here have to order it. It will not be available until Monday afternoon. It is also so new it is not listed on the http://www.nlm.nih.gov/ website.

My daughter asked Dad how he was feeling about what happened. Dad said it reminds him of his favorite song by Frank Sinatra-  My Way



Dad has always loved the song- but his emphasis now is on the first line. "And now the end is near; and so I face the final curtain."

I don't know if that is true. I don't know if the end is near; but if he feels that way, it might delay in his getting better.

Not an easy subject to discuss and made even harder because it is nearly impossible to get Dad alone long enough for a good discussion.

I'm not sure how I feel about this.

Lots of things to think and pray about.

My Dad

Last night around 11:30 pm, Dad had a mini-stroke. Ar first they told us it was a TIA, but since it lasted longer than ten minutes, it's classified as a mini stroke.

Mom and I got home from the ER at 3 AM and went to bed. I was up at 6 AM to get ready for church. I went to the first service and then left- my Lay Leader took care of the 2nd service. It was Laity Sunday so I didn't have to do a lot any way.

My daughter was up at the hospital early to be eyes and ears again. Finally got HIPPA  (spelling?) forms signed so she can legally talk  to the doctors and nurses and get information.

Echo cardiogram done, head CT done, blood work etc. MRI will come tomorrow. Dr. on call upset that my dad has never been on Coumadin, a blood thinner, even after his stroke in 97 and since he has A-fib.

There are more questions than answers at this point.

Mom is confused of course- lack of sleep and all of this is hindering my capability to think straight. I'm sure it is worse for her...

Missed my first Book Club pot luck at church tonight.

Thank God for these people in my church who just step up and do what needs to be done.

Dinner and then bed are on the agenda. More to come as more is known.

Today

As I'm writing, I'm sitting here waiting for the cardiology department to call my dad back. Since his surgery, his heart rate has been high (99 or above) and since changing his BP medication, his BP is high.

Yesterday, Dad got a heart monitor to wear for 24 hours. Last night, he didn't sleep well and kept taking his BP and it was high all night. He is anxious and upset. This of course means Mom is anxious and upset too.

Of course, this means I must remain calm and composed and I'm doing the best I can. Sunday, our parish nurse took MY blood pressure and it was high for me- 136/86. I usually run about 105/70. Sooo.... I guess all of this is stressing me out more than I knew or wanted to know. Now I'm taking my BP daily too.

I've also made a deal with my husband. He is going to give me a $1.00 for every 1/2 hour I walk on the treadmill. The money is going to the church, so I can't let them down. It should benefit all of us.

Mom is upset because my DH didn't clean out the dryer lint after his last load of laundry. Today this is a BIG DEAL, which shows me she is anxious.

My husband tells me I let all of this bother me too much. That I "worry" too much and that I need to stop "babysitting" my parents.  We've had quite a discussion about this. Maybe its the difference between men and women. Or maybe its that I live with this everyday, that I am responsible for their medical visits and medication and their finances and that I am a pastor taking care of other people as well. And maybe its because I don't get to leave and go fishing on my boat every single day I have off from work. Or maybe its because I don't have a day off. Hmmm...

Well, fishing season will be over soon and then maybe he can take on some of these things that I am doing. Time will tell!

Tomorrow

Tomorrow my Dad has a stress test scheduled. He has to have this done prior to surgery.

He is going to have to have surgery for his "Triple A"- Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm. We don't know when yet- but it should be soon.

We are waiting to see if the manufacturer of the stent they would use thinks it will work in Dad's situation. There is information about this surgery at The Mayo Clinic Website.

In Dad's case I guess the artery right below the aneurysm is bent and there is concern by the doctor whether or not this will work.

Dad had major heart surgery 5 years ago. Quadruple by-pass, valve replacement and a valve repair. There was some kidney damage at the time and  was on dialysis for a short time. He has also had a stroke about 10 or 11 years ago and had surgery on his carotid artery in his neck. Dad is 85 years old- almost 86, his birthday is in September.

I have so many concerns about this. Obvious ones. The life and death ones. Concerns for him and for my mom.  The "what ifs"...

So today is a normal day as we wait for tomorrow. Tomorrow will likely be a normal day as well- medical tests are nothing new in this household.

It's the wait- the waiting to find out when and how that is hard.