After the Thursday fall, I had gone into Mom's bathroom and had found an assortment of over the counter pain killers in her medicine cabinet. Concerned because of her AD and how she has not been comprehending the problem of combining certain medications, I felt it was time to take all of the over the counter meds out of her medicine c cabinet except for her Tylenol arthritis. My mind was not made up as to whether or not she should keep even that in her medicine cabinet, so after giving her the Tylenol Arthritis after her fall, I placed it in the kitchen with a note saying what time I had given it to her.
I went ahead to my meeting and when I got done, I had a text message from my SS saying that "Grandma is on the rampage and wants to talk to you about her medicines."
I'm going to try to make a long story short here:
I got home and Mom didn't say a word about the medicine. Even when I asked if her head was hurting and if the Tylenol had helped. Nothing.
So before my DD and SS got ready to leave again, I went into Mom and Dad's living room and sat down and asked her how she was again. I knew we were headed for a blowup and I honestly didn't want to face it alone.
As it turns out- we ended up having a family intervention. My DH, my DD, my SS and I all talked with Mom about her disease and what we are trying to accomplish by having her live with us. Mom explained her frustration about not being able "to do anything for herself" anymore.
We pointed out that she is still able to do many things for herself. She can dress herself and pick out her own clothes. She showers by herself, she can still watch TV and read and do her Soduko. She can feed herself. She is doing her own laundry and making her own beds. She helps out in the kitchen by setting the table. She fixes her own breakfast and her own lunch. She can pray and she can talk and she can visit with people.
I explained that some things I have to do. Somethings I have to make decisions about. I can't pretend she doesn't have a problem and I can't ignore my responsibility as her daughter to take care of her.
I told her, that if it gets to the point where she will not accept my giving her medication to her as the doctors have prescribed, she will have to live in a place where she receives her medication by an RN.
My SS and DD told her over and over that we love her and that we are trying to keep her out of a nursing home. But they were also honest about how difficult is has been when she has been so nasty to us. At that point Mom cracked a hurtful "joke" and my DD said, "See Grandma- that's not funny to us. That may be funny to you- but it is hurtful to us."
I know it may not sound possible, but I think Mom got it. At least for awhile. There were lots of tears and lots of hugs. I pray it lasts.
Showing posts with label medicine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label medicine. Show all posts
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Okay- so...more conversation about cough medicine
Okay- so last night went fine. Mom was really tired and I had to wake her up in her chair to take her medicines. She went to bed probably around 11:00 PM and slept until 7:30 AM. Yeah! No coughing or anything! She says she felt good.
So... at 9:30 AM we had to leave for a doctor's appointment for my Dad. Mom wanted cough medicine. I told her I would give it to her at 10AM. She raised a fit and kept yelling at me even after we got in the car. I turned on the radio. She started screaming- "Okay then! Try and drown me out."
I turned off the radio.
"Mom, I will give it to you at 10AM."
"I'm going to ask your Dad's doctor if I should be able to take it."
"No- you won't. This is Dad's appointment and it is about him. If you need to see the doctor, I will take you."
I asked Mom if she had taken her inhaler.
"Yes! As soon as I got up. That just makes it easier to breathe. It doesn't help the cough."
Right before we got to the doctor's office, she took out her inhaler and took a puff on it.
"Mom, I thought you had used your inhaler."
"Yes, I did."
"You can only use it 4 times a day."
"Yes, two puffs four times a day."
Get to the clinic and ask Mom if she needs to see a doctor.
"No! I just need my cough medicine."
I pour her medicine and try to hand it to her. She just looks at me and makes no move to take it. In the mean time, Dad is getting out of the car.
"Do you want this?"
"Yes!" Grabs it out of my hand.
We go in to Dad's appointment, which went very well.
There is a coffee shop in the clinic, so they go in for a cappuccino and I get an iced tea. They sit in there and talk to the barista (my dad worked with her for a while when he worked briefly for Star Bucks)
The pharmacy is right next door so I go there and ask if there is ANY cough medicine she can take along with Mucinex. No. Nothing. Nada. And they explain why.
I go out and explain to Mom and she doesn't believe it. I ask if she would like to talk to the pharmacist. She wants to and she does, and she gets the same result. Except now in talking to the pharmacist, she decides she will take Delsym cough medicine at night (12 hour dose) and then Mucinex during the day if she needs it. Okay. Fine. Buy Delsym.
On the way home, Mom uses her inhaler two more times. Ask her again about how often she should use it. She gets mad. Decide I just need to call doctor.
10:00 PM. Take Mom's meds to her.
"I don't want that. I want my Mucinex and my Robitussin."
"you can have one of the other. But you and the pharmacist said you were going to take Delsym."
"Why won't you listen to me?"
"Do you want Delsym or Mucinex?"
"Mucinex. I'm going to write all of this down and show Dr. P. She will understand I need both!"
"Okay. Good night Mom."
So... at 9:30 AM we had to leave for a doctor's appointment for my Dad. Mom wanted cough medicine. I told her I would give it to her at 10AM. She raised a fit and kept yelling at me even after we got in the car. I turned on the radio. She started screaming- "Okay then! Try and drown me out."
I turned off the radio.
"Mom, I will give it to you at 10AM."
"I'm going to ask your Dad's doctor if I should be able to take it."
"No- you won't. This is Dad's appointment and it is about him. If you need to see the doctor, I will take you."
I asked Mom if she had taken her inhaler.
"Yes! As soon as I got up. That just makes it easier to breathe. It doesn't help the cough."
Right before we got to the doctor's office, she took out her inhaler and took a puff on it.
"Mom, I thought you had used your inhaler."
"Yes, I did."
"You can only use it 4 times a day."
"Yes, two puffs four times a day."
Get to the clinic and ask Mom if she needs to see a doctor.
"No! I just need my cough medicine."
I pour her medicine and try to hand it to her. She just looks at me and makes no move to take it. In the mean time, Dad is getting out of the car.
"Do you want this?"
"Yes!" Grabs it out of my hand.
We go in to Dad's appointment, which went very well.
There is a coffee shop in the clinic, so they go in for a cappuccino and I get an iced tea. They sit in there and talk to the barista (my dad worked with her for a while when he worked briefly for Star Bucks)
The pharmacy is right next door so I go there and ask if there is ANY cough medicine she can take along with Mucinex. No. Nothing. Nada. And they explain why.
I go out and explain to Mom and she doesn't believe it. I ask if she would like to talk to the pharmacist. She wants to and she does, and she gets the same result. Except now in talking to the pharmacist, she decides she will take Delsym cough medicine at night (12 hour dose) and then Mucinex during the day if she needs it. Okay. Fine. Buy Delsym.
On the way home, Mom uses her inhaler two more times. Ask her again about how often she should use it. She gets mad. Decide I just need to call doctor.
10:00 PM. Take Mom's meds to her.
"I don't want that. I want my Mucinex and my Robitussin."
"you can have one of the other. But you and the pharmacist said you were going to take Delsym."
"Why won't you listen to me?"
"Do you want Delsym or Mucinex?"
"Mucinex. I'm going to write all of this down and show Dr. P. She will understand I need both!"
"Okay. Good night Mom."
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Conversations with Mom
Condensed version...really!
Saturday morning I found an empty bottle of Robitussin DM on the counter.
When I saw Mom, I asked her if it was hers and she said yes and that she needed it refilled. I really didn't think anything of it until later in the day when she asked if I had bought her some more yet.
"Do you need it today?"
"Well, don't make a special trip, but I usually take it every night before bed."
Warning buzzer goes off in my head...
"No they aren't. I take the Mucinex to break up my cough and I take the Robitussin to stop my coughing at night so I can sleep."
"I'll have to check the labels Mom."
Later:
"Mom, the two medicines are the same. You really shouldn't take both at the same time."
"THEY ARE NOT THE SAME! I need the Mucinex for long-term nighttime protection and the Robitussin to stop my cough. The Robitussin gets in the system faster because it is liquid. I ALWAYS take this. I will not overdose."
Come home. I reread the labels and tell Mom I can'[t give her both- she can take one or the other.
She starts yelling at me about being a nurse etc etc etc. I tell her I will call the Patient Advisory Nurse at the hospital where she worked for 40 years and ask them what they think. Mom is furious. I call anyhow.
The Patient Advisory Nurse tells me not to give both meds.
I tell Mom.
"You didn't talk to a real nurse! I'm a real nurse! I know more about medicine than you ever will. It's just d*mn cough medicine. Did you tell them I have asthma? Do you want me to keep your father up all night coughing?"
I walk away and at 10:00 I bring her medicine.
"I can't believe you will not listen to me and give me my cough medicine! I'll be up all night!"
"Mom- I'm doing the best I can. I'm following the instructions given to me by a Registered Nurse. I read about it on the internet. I will give you one or the other."
She takes her pills and takes the Mucinex DM. She glares at me and when I tell her good night she says:
"It won't be a good night. Thanks for nothing."
Sunday morning I get up at 5:30 and see the light on in Mom's living room. She's coughing. Not a lot- its her normal first of the morning cough when she hacks up phlegm. I get my coffee and go in to take my shower.
At 7:00 AM Mom is in the kitchen waiting for me. She is mad- it is all written in her face and her body language.
"Did you her me last night? I coughed ALL NIGHT LONG."
" No Mom, I didn't hear you."
"Well good for you. I'm sure I kept your Dad awake all night. I finally got up at 4:00 AM and came out here. All I've done is cough. I can't sleep. Would you PLEASE give me some cough medicine!!"
"Mom, the Mucinex DM is 12 hour. You had some at 10:00 AM."
"I want it NOW!"
"Mom, I'll call the patient advisory nurse."
"Don't you call anyone? Who are you going to call? Well I hope she's a real nurse. And you tell her I'm a nurse too etc etc etc..."
I call the patient advisory nurse. I explain what is going on and that my mom has Alzheimer's and that she is a retired nurse. I put the nurse on speaker phone and she can her my mom yelling at me about the cough medicine.
Nurse: "She can't take those medicines together, especially with asthma. Is she taking her Flonase and her albuterol inhaler?"
I ask Mom.
"I take the Flonase at night. And I can't take the inhaler all the time, it's not good for my heart."
"Mom, aren't you supposed to take it 4 times a day?"
"I take it PRN (medical speak for "as needed") I always take it before bed. I don't know why you won't just give me the cough syrup. It is just cough syrup!!! I have never over dosed on medication and I have never given anyone else the wrong dose. Is she a real nurse? Where is she at? Is she at (mom's) hospital? Does she know I'm a nurse? "
Nurse: It isn't "just cough syrup."
Nurse: Is she wheezing?"
"I haven't heard her wheeze. Mom are you wheezing?"
"I don't know. I can't hear it if I'm wheezing."
"Can't you feel it when you're wheezing?"
Nurse: Have her take a couple of deep breaths."
"Mom, take a couple of deep breaths."
No wheezing- no coughing.
Nurse: "Tell her she can have the Robitussin DM at 10:00 AM. Her records indicate she is supposed to be taking the plain Mucinex- not the DM. Then she could have both. If she gets worse, bring her in to the ER."
"Are you documenting this?"
Nurse: "Yes, it will be in her records."
Hang up.
"Mom- you can have the Robitussin at 10AM. D (my husband) will give it to you then. I have to get ready for my job- I have a church service in just a bit."
"Go! I don't care!"
I left.
After church- at 11:30 AM I come home to find the Robitussin dose cup sitting at Mom's place at the table with the medicine still in the cup.
Mom comes out of her living room. I don't want to ask- but I have to...
"Are you feeling better?"
"No."
"Did D give you the Robitussin that is sitting here?"
"He gave me something. But I don't know if it is Robitussin. So I didn't take it! I want to see the bottle."
I get the bottle and the box.
"Mom- it is sugar free and has no added coloring or flavors. That's why it is clear and not red."
Looking at the box. "I'm not diabetic. I don't need this."
"Mom, it is the only Robitussin DM they had at the grocery store. Anyone can take it, its not just for diabetics."
Mom read the box and bottle. "I can't think straight. I'm too tired from coughing all night."
I haven't heard her cough since I got home. "Are you still coughing?"
"I don't know. I haven't tried to cough." (?????)
"Do you want to see a doctor?"
"No, I just needed my cough medicine."
"Are you going to take it now?"
"I don't know. (pout) I haven't decided.
"If you take it, I need to know what time you took it."
"Why? Its just cough medicine!"
"Just let me know, okay? If its still sitting here in an hour, I'm throwing it away.
Five minutes later, she hands me the empty cup and a note saying she took it at noon.
What will tonight bring I wonder?
Sunday, October 17, 2010
My Dad
Last night around 11:30 pm, Dad had a mini-stroke. Ar first they told us it was a TIA, but since it lasted longer than ten minutes, it's classified as a mini stroke.
Mom and I got home from the ER at 3 AM and went to bed. I was up at 6 AM to get ready for church. I went to the first service and then left- my Lay Leader took care of the 2nd service. It was Laity Sunday so I didn't have to do a lot any way.
My daughter was up at the hospital early to be eyes and ears again. Finally got HIPPA (spelling?) forms signed so she can legally talk to the doctors and nurses and get information.
Echo cardiogram done, head CT done, blood work etc. MRI will come tomorrow. Dr. on call upset that my dad has never been on Coumadin, a blood thinner, even after his stroke in 97 and since he has A-fib.
There are more questions than answers at this point.
Mom is confused of course- lack of sleep and all of this is hindering my capability to think straight. I'm sure it is worse for her...
Missed my first Book Club pot luck at church tonight.
Thank God for these people in my church who just step up and do what needs to be done.
Dinner and then bed are on the agenda. More to come as more is known.
Mom and I got home from the ER at 3 AM and went to bed. I was up at 6 AM to get ready for church. I went to the first service and then left- my Lay Leader took care of the 2nd service. It was Laity Sunday so I didn't have to do a lot any way.
My daughter was up at the hospital early to be eyes and ears again. Finally got HIPPA (spelling?) forms signed so she can legally talk to the doctors and nurses and get information.
Echo cardiogram done, head CT done, blood work etc. MRI will come tomorrow. Dr. on call upset that my dad has never been on Coumadin, a blood thinner, even after his stroke in 97 and since he has A-fib.
There are more questions than answers at this point.
Mom is confused of course- lack of sleep and all of this is hindering my capability to think straight. I'm sure it is worse for her...
Missed my first Book Club pot luck at church tonight.
Thank God for these people in my church who just step up and do what needs to be done.
Dinner and then bed are on the agenda. More to come as more is known.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Last Night- Something New
Dad came into my office last night and said "Something new. I told your mother I was going to go and take my evening pills."
Conversation:
Dad: I'm going to go take my evening pills."
Mom: Pills? What pills?
Dad: My evening pills. Medicine.
Mom: You take pills?
Dad: Yes, I have for years.
Mom: Oh. Okay. I guess I forgot.
Conversation:
Dad: I'm going to go take my evening pills."
Mom: Pills? What pills?
Dad: My evening pills. Medicine.
Mom: You take pills?
Dad: Yes, I have for years.
Mom: Oh. Okay. I guess I forgot.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Mom has forgotten she told me I could take care of her medicines. I am in the dog house big time. But that's okay.
What is bad is finding my mother standing in front of the drawer where I put her meds and seeing her with a fistful of medicine.
Me: "What are you doing?"
Her: I can't find my medicine and I will not take something if I don't recognize it."
Me: "What is it you don't recognize?" (Thinking she went to take one of her bedtime pills and didn't know what it was because she keeps forgetting to take it.)
Mom: Where are my pills for tomorrow?
Me: In your room where they always are.
Mom: No they're not.
Notice pills in Mom's hand...
Me: Why are you holding those pills?
Mom: They shouldn't be in here.
Me: Mom, let me have the pills.
Mom: No, their mine.
Me: I know, but I'm taking care of them for you.
Mom: No you are not!
Me: Yes, I am. (Holding out my hand) Give me the pills (sternly- but not yelling- kind of like talking to a child that may hurt themselves if they don't do what you say quickly)
Mom: Fine (drops pills- some reach my hand, some hit the floor)
Me: Dammit
Mom: What are you going to do with them?
Me: I'll take care of them Mom.
Mom: Where are my pills for the morning?
Me: (Trying to take her hand) Come here I'll show you.
Mom: (Angry) Don't you try to make me come with you. I am not a child!
Me: I know Mom, I'm sorry. Please come with me.
We go into the bedroom and her pill box is on the counter. It is one that separates, so you can take Fridays pills with you, or Sat,Sun pills etc.
Me: See, here they are. And your bedtime pills are in this compartment.
Mom: I KNOW THAT.
Me: Well, Sunday's pills are in the Sunday container, see?
Mom: Yes. I don't use this container.
Me: Well, we are using it until we leave on vacation. Remember? We did this yesterday too.
Mom: No, I don't remember. This IS NOT THE WAY I DO IT!
Starts screaming about her medicine and her life and her pills. Looks at me and says sarcastically,
Mom: Do I have to ask you if I can go to the bathhroom???
She goes in and slams the door.
Dad is in the hall.
Me: Dad, you have to back me up here.
Dad: Shakes his head. I know, I just hoped this would wait until we were back from vacation.
What is bad is finding my mother standing in front of the drawer where I put her meds and seeing her with a fistful of medicine.
Me: "What are you doing?"
Her: I can't find my medicine and I will not take something if I don't recognize it."
Me: "What is it you don't recognize?" (Thinking she went to take one of her bedtime pills and didn't know what it was because she keeps forgetting to take it.)
Mom: Where are my pills for tomorrow?
Me: In your room where they always are.
Mom: No they're not.
Notice pills in Mom's hand...
Me: Why are you holding those pills?
Mom: They shouldn't be in here.
Me: Mom, let me have the pills.
Mom: No, their mine.
Me: I know, but I'm taking care of them for you.
Mom: No you are not!
Me: Yes, I am. (Holding out my hand) Give me the pills (sternly- but not yelling- kind of like talking to a child that may hurt themselves if they don't do what you say quickly)
Mom: Fine (drops pills- some reach my hand, some hit the floor)
Me: Dammit
Mom: What are you going to do with them?
Me: I'll take care of them Mom.
Mom: Where are my pills for the morning?
Me: (Trying to take her hand) Come here I'll show you.
Mom: (Angry) Don't you try to make me come with you. I am not a child!
Me: I know Mom, I'm sorry. Please come with me.
We go into the bedroom and her pill box is on the counter. It is one that separates, so you can take Fridays pills with you, or Sat,Sun pills etc.
Me: See, here they are. And your bedtime pills are in this compartment.
Mom: I KNOW THAT.
Me: Well, Sunday's pills are in the Sunday container, see?
Mom: Yes. I don't use this container.
Me: Well, we are using it until we leave on vacation. Remember? We did this yesterday too.
Mom: No, I don't remember. This IS NOT THE WAY I DO IT!
Starts screaming about her medicine and her life and her pills. Looks at me and says sarcastically,
Mom: Do I have to ask you if I can go to the bathhroom???
She goes in and slams the door.
Dad is in the hall.
Me: Dad, you have to back me up here.
Dad: Shakes his head. I know, I just hoped this would wait until we were back from vacation.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
More Pill Problems- Solution?
Well, this morning Mom got up early. At 8:30 she was running around looking for her daily pills. She "lost" them somewhere.
I started looking with her and lo and behold- they were right where she thought they were supposed to be...
While we were looking for them, Mom said, "I need to refill my pill box. If you want to do it you can..." I can and I will. Now that the opportunity has presented itself- I will.
Thank you JC!
I started looking with her and lo and behold- they were right where she thought they were supposed to be...
While we were looking for them, Mom said, "I need to refill my pill box. If you want to do it you can..." I can and I will. Now that the opportunity has presented itself- I will.
Thank you JC!
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Trying something new...
Today while Mom and Dad were gone, I poured meds for them both without telling Mom. I left today's slot without meds in Dad's and today's and Saturday's slots without meds for Mom. I'm hoping she will think she has poured the meds. This is quite possible and if it works, I'm going to try to keep doing it.
I also updated her medication lists on her computer- she goes by the list and doesn't have one of her over-the-counter meds for allergies on the list. I have to be careful because Mom uses nursing abbreviations for how many times a day, dosage etc.
Every morning she takes the medicine for the day and puts it in little medicine cups and separates it for morning and evening. I'm hoping this will be enough to keep her feeling as if she is doing the meds.
I'll let you know the results! Please pray and keep your fingers crossed!
I also updated her medication lists on her computer- she goes by the list and doesn't have one of her over-the-counter meds for allergies on the list. I have to be careful because Mom uses nursing abbreviations for how many times a day, dosage etc.
Every morning she takes the medicine for the day and puts it in little medicine cups and separates it for morning and evening. I'm hoping this will be enough to keep her feeling as if she is doing the meds.
I'll let you know the results! Please pray and keep your fingers crossed!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
All My Fault...
Mom came to me tonight to tell me she is having problems with her medicine. She is confused as to what she is to take and when. She blames this on me, because I have questioned her on if she is taking her meds correctly and she says by doing that I have lowered her self-confidence which in turn has made her forget how to take care of her meds. She said that since she is a nurse, and still has her license, she should be able to dispense her meds and anyone else's.
She says that the move has not been good for her and that she misses home. She would never have moved if it hadn't been for Dad. She said Dad needs some one to watch over him, but she doesn't. She says the move to our home is going to shorten her life.
*************************************************
I sat and listened to her and didn't say much. She was too defeated sounding to make many comments. I hate this. This is not her fault- and it is not mine. I don't think she was really blaming me, she is just struggling with yet another loss. She's lost most of her sense of taste and most of her hearing. She is losing some sight as well. This is not fair and I wish I could fix it. I can't.
***********************************************
Mom came back a few minutes ago and thanked me for listening to her. She is really having a hard time and I think she is beginning to realize it. Maybe ignorance is better... I just don't know.
She says that the move has not been good for her and that she misses home. She would never have moved if it hadn't been for Dad. She said Dad needs some one to watch over him, but she doesn't. She says the move to our home is going to shorten her life.
*************************************************
I sat and listened to her and didn't say much. She was too defeated sounding to make many comments. I hate this. This is not her fault- and it is not mine. I don't think she was really blaming me, she is just struggling with yet another loss. She's lost most of her sense of taste and most of her hearing. She is losing some sight as well. This is not fair and I wish I could fix it. I can't.
***********************************************
Mom came back a few minutes ago and thanked me for listening to her. She is really having a hard time and I think she is beginning to realize it. Maybe ignorance is better... I just don't know.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)