Saturday Mom had a bad day. I don’t know how else to put it except she was really out of it. There is a vacant look in her eyes on these days. She seems to lose interest in anything happening around her. When you talk with her, she will forget what you’ve said within moments.
There is usually little anger on those days- she just seems dead in spirit.
Sunday I was up at 4:30 with a lot to do before worship. I don’t do well staying up late- I get a lot more done in the early hours than I do when I stay up past 10pm. I had decided to change the beginning of my sermon and I needed to get some fruit together for our 1st Sunday Fellowship (Held on the second Sunday this month because of the holidays) So I was up and dressed and busy when Mom got up at 6:30.
I heard her in the kitchen at 6:30. I went in to check on her and found she had set up her cereal to put in the microwave. I waited about 15 minutes and went in her living room to give her her pills.
She was a little out of it, but seemed more tired than anything else. She did not have her hearing aid in so we really couldn’t talk.
I had my breakfast and continued to get ready for church. As I think I said in my last blog, I try to be at the church at 8AM. Of course living right next door makes it pretty easy!
At 8AM Mom sill hadn’t fixed her breakfast- which means I couldn’t give her her after breakfast pills. I went in and told her I was going to church and left a note explaining I would give her her pills after I got home from church.
My son came over to the church about 8:45. Mom had eaten breakfast. He said he went into the bathroom ( “his and Dad’s bathroom”) to get dressed and heard Gma (our abbreviation for Grandma) standing outside the door talking to herself.
“I wanted to use that bathroom. I guess I’ll have to use my bathroom. But I don’t want to wake up D- I’ll have to be quiet.”
My son said the next thing he heard was Gma and Gpa’s bedroom door opening and Gma yelling “Good Morning!”
Church went well and then I went home.Mom had already eaten lunch. I gave Mom her pills. I walked in to her living room and said, “Here’s your after breakfast pills for after lunch.” mom heard me say, “You forgot your pills after breakfast.” And she got angry. She started yelling at me that she didn’t forget her pills, I was late.
This always surprises me when she does this. I know she must have been waiting o say something. She was upset and it wouldn’t have mattered probably what I said.
I got her to calm down and gave her the pills. She no longer had the look in her eyes of being out of it, she had the look in her eyes that means she ready for a fight…
A little bit later, Fred called. Fred is from a Catholic church in the area that does home visits and brings communion to shut ins. Fred had come over earlier in the week and Mom really liked him. So he called and asked if he could bring Mom communion. I went into her living room to tell her Fred was coming.
“Mom, Fred called and…
“WHAT? Who called?”
“Fred called and…
“What did he say?”
“”Fred called and he’s coming over to give you communion.”
“When will he get here?”
“Soon- I don’t know the exact time.”
I started to walk out and she stopped me.
“You looked upset when you were telling me that. Why?”
“I guess because you interrupted me when I was trying to tell you something.”
“I didn’t interrupt you.”
“Yes you did.”
“You have to get my attention first. I don’t hear well.”
“Okay Mom.” Turn to leave.
“Where are you going! We need to “discuss” this.”
I walked out- if I had stayed it would have been a no win fight.
Dad was aggravated by being woken up so early and so last night he asked me if I could give Mom her sleeping pill later at night so maybe she would sleep later in the day. He feels she should sleep till 8AM like he does.
After my last blog about the schedule I’ve got Mom on, I almost laughed. But I was too tired. I told him I couldn’t stay up late to do that. He asked if he could give her the pill at 11 PM. I’ll admit I was slightly irritated. Dad doesn’t always remember to take his pills on time and last week forgot to take his bedtime pills twice. So I told him yes, we would try it, but reminded him that sometimes he forgets his pills.
And then I got mad at myself for saying yes. I don’t need Mom to sleep later! I’ve got things to do. I have to work. I can’t wait around for people to get up. So I got myself all worked up and ticked off. My own doing. No one else’s.
It was suggested I hire someone to be here in the mornings to give Mom her pills whenever she gets up. I’m going to look into it, but I believe state laws prohibit anyone giving meds unless they are licensed to do so, and in my state I believe you have to be an RN.